I dunno why but I got very disappointed very easily lately. I got angry easily too which really irritates me!
And I dunno why lately I always dreamt of my past, on my secondary school life which I have always never fond of it. (Sorry, and no offence but I really don't have much happy memories during my sec school, for me to remember unlike some of you guys). Partly it's bcoz of the matter which I have always try to forget but now, still couldn't. I dunno if I hate 'her' or what, but I can't seem to forget about it. Have I or should I forgive 'her'? I dunno why I let this be in me for years. Sometimes I wonder what are friends for. Maybe bcoz of this issue, I have stopped believing in the concept of Friends Forever like what 'she' told me last time. *shyt, I believed what 'she' said and I never will forget it*
Chatted with Soo Teng just now. So I asked her about that 'her', but she told me she doesn't have news about 'her'. Honestly, I dunno why the hell I wanna care about 'her'. Maybe it's bcoz I always thought 'she' will become my best friend forever. And this is a total BULLSHIT!
Soo Teng asked me why I still wanna so bloodly care about 'her'.
Yea, why ah? Why wanna care and keep in touch and have this kind of friend who doesn't even give a damn shyt on my life? No such thing as best friend forever? School friendship usually never continue after my school life ends, which is what my dad always told me last time (coz last time, friends is like very precious to me), but I don't give a damn on what he told me. But it's true! Except for some friends, of course.
Teng said 'she' never tell us about anything.
Yea, I wonder why too. It's like as though 'she' wants to get us all out of her life. Yea, whatever, with 'her high-standard life.' WTF..
And she told me that "it's time to let 'her' out of my life and just let 'her' be the past and don't care anymore". I guess I should listen to her. She's so damn right?
I didn't mean that I regretted having 'her' as my friend last time, it's just that it makes me hate 'her' more everytime I think about what 'she' told me that I stupidly trusted so much. It hurts me to know I believed so much of the nonsense 'she' told me. 'She' is really a total big liar!
I'm just angry with myself for being so damn stupid. @.@
This kind of friend, I shouldn't have keep for life and give a damn care about 'her' life right?
Dead or Alive, got nothing to do with me? I'm so damn damn stupid that I trusted 'her'. I can say that 'she' is the worst friend I would ever have in my life so far. 'She' only comes to you when 'she' has problems and get rid of you when 'she' is alright. Even when 'she' changed 'her' phone number also didn't want or intend to inform us. Ish... Continue with your 'hide-and-seek' life and have fun with it then, my so-called friend. Argghhhh!
Why was I fated to know 'her'? *shyt*
What Soo Teng told me is true. And it's undeniable that I would want Teng to be my friend, forever although we don't keep in touch with each other often. At least she's so much better than my other friends, who don't even care about ppl's lives, no offence, but I really don't want to have friends who are like 'her'. I'm glad I didn't attend that gathering last few months, coz I really don't wish to see 'her' anymore.
Maybe some of you have an idea on who is that 'she' I'm talking about here but I don't wanna tell 'her' name here. Take it as this is my last respect towards 'her' in my life. Say and think whatever you want. I don't wanna care so much dy. I can't be satisfied with everyone in my life.
And now, I forgive 'her' on all 'her' past doings towards me. And that's it. Friends, come and go!
'She' might see this post, but I doubt it, anyway. As though 'she' cares and give a damn.
I've officially announced it publicly here, that's good enough. xD
'YOU' = MY PAST, NOT, and NEVER WILL BE MY PRESENT AND FUTURE!
I want 'her' to be OUT, TOTALLY 100% OUT OF MY LIFE!
I'm enough and done with all these craps and bullshit of yours!
If I still continue hoping that you'll at least call me or to show your 'concern' towards me or live my life with your craps, then I must an IDIOT!
So, move on, Ashley! Forget the past that makes you sad and brings you hurt, anger and hatred.
P/S : Thanks a lot, Soo Teng. *muacks*
Sorry if you guys think I'm being too harsh or cruel, but I just wanna let it all out here, and move on, not turning back to the past. Thanks! =)
"Yesterday is a History, Tomorrow is a Mystery but Today is a Gift, that's why it is called the Present..."
I should start appreciating those around me and move on with my life.
Wish me LUCK! =)
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
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2 comments:
haiyaya. fren fren.. cheer up!
&& perhaps u have bad memories in high school. well, i have it too. BUT somehow, to me la, personally, high school was the place i learnt the most, hence whenever i look back, i always appreciate and thank God for all that he has placed in my life, good or bad.
&& u know, right now, im just putting those bad memories away, cos most of my friends are leaving abroad d. Im just taking and holding on to every opportunity that i get to meet up with them cos its like, all those things that happened, already happened.
Kay i know im crapping. hehe. anyways, diff ppl meet with these kinda ppl @ diff points in their life. perhaps u met them in high school. BUT I met mine in coll, haha. thats y i don enjoy much of coll compared to high school :)
SO just forget about her. u may not forgive her now, but someday, you'll realise that being so not over the frustration now is not that worthy aft all. she's not even worth ur anger. :) I believe u have BETTER frens in coll. waaay better. ur LYG gang hehe. *so jealous*
haha. like what i said, i don enjoy much of coll life. and i believe in the future, i wouldnt have as much sweet memories as compared to in high school. SO prolly you guys will only be the FEW that remains in my heart. (: you will be a part of my life, my memory, my fren. :)
Rmb, noone can take away any sweet memories but WE CAN CHOOSE to let bad memories slip away, its just a matter of your mind, Wther u want it or not. Perhaps time is a factor. But most importantly, surround urself with good frens. frens who take u seriously, frens who love you, care for u... AND believes in you!
I know u can do it. delete her away if that makes u feel better. Its okay to delete her now first. haha. u can always rekindle the frenship if in the future you realise u have forgiven her :) I hope u do, someday.....
muacks fren! hehe
take care! see yah later! [=
shane!
Thanks alot alot..
What u said are true! Well,I'm in the process of forgeting her. Like u said, time is the factor, i think so too. Well, honestly I do enjoy my coll life more than high school life. I dunno why but I don miss my school'm moments. And I'm lucky to have such nice and crazy frens like ei leen, my LYG and other frens and u, u, u!! hahaha..
Thanks, dear, LOTS! *muacks*
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